The Reddit Goth Community Is A Fucking Mess

This goth mess looks more appealing  to me than the goth Reddit community.

This goth mess looks more appealing to me than the goth Reddit community.

Is there a train-wreck of a site that you visit sometimes to see Darwinism at work? Well, the Reddit goth community is the one that I can’t stop looking at no matter how much I try. Even though sometimes it gets me pissed off to no end I can’t stop going back. It’s like it has its evil tendrils of death gripped onto me and I can’t tear free of them!

By now you must be wondering what the hell is wrong with it. Why is she so annoyed by just a message board? There is one thing that I can’t stand, and that is people who act like they know what they are talking about, while in fact they don’t have a fucking clue. I’m not talking about people who innocently make a mistake, I’m talking about idiots who like to rewrite history in order to make themselves look like they know it all and that their point of view should be the truth. It’s willful ignorance.

The mod over there, a guy named Grim Wizard, lives in DC and is into the cyber side of things. That comes into play in this rant, trust me! Well, every single fucking time a thread is started asking about the history of the goth subculture this fellow goes on and on about how EBM saved the goth subculture in the 90’s Obviously the guy doesn’t know what the hell is talking about since it didn’t need saving. I mean, what the hell did it need saving from? Cthulhu? I don’t know! Anyway, he goes on about how goth music was dead and that if EBM hadn’t of ‘taken over’ then the subculture would have died. Those of you who are old enough to remember differently are banging your heads into a wall at this point, I know the feeling! Now, every time he does this I make a point to comment that his view of what happened isn’t the truth, that there were tons of bands around at the time who played guitar oriented music, but he always ignores me and starts in on it again in a different thread. The worst thing about all of this? The guy isn’t old enough to remember what happened during that time! That’s right, the shit is perpetuating some crap that he isn’t even old enough to have been in on.

Another thing that really gets my panties in a bunch is the people on there who keep listing only metal bands as goth, or even Marilyn Manson. Even with the internet these fuckwits still don’t know about actual goth bands. I have no problem with metal, in fact I love early Danzig and Metallica, but at least I know the difference between the genres. I know that there is a thing called goth metal these days, but it is different from traditional goth music and should be stated as such. It sure as hell shouldn’t be heralded as the only form of goth music. Get it together kids, do some research!

Then there are the threads asking about how to get into the subculture. Kid, if you are asking about how to get into a subculture then you don’t have the interest in the first place. It should be something that kind of comes naturally, not something that you can pick and choose like a bottle of vodka. Christ, If you have to be told what is spooky and how exactly you should dress than you have it all wrong. I know this isn’t a phenomena to Reddit, but it gets to really absurd lengths there! Also, there is the whole ‘what category of goth am I’ crap. Do you need your identity to be that rigid and defined? if I told you that you had to dress in mourning clothes every single day, even to get a Slurpee at the store, would you go out and do it just because I ordered you?

Yes, I’m still going to visit it, even after this rant. Maybe I should start a topic there all about how to turn cowboy goth or something?




Samhain’s November Coming Fire Is My Favorite Album…Ever

Yes folks, this album is my favorite ever. Seriously, I can listen to it over and over again and not be bored out of my mind. You know how you liked¬† a band when you were younger but don’t listen to them any longer for various reasons? This album defies that curse!

For those of you who don’t know Samhain was Glenn Danzig’s second band after The Misfits broke up, and I consider this period to be his best musically. Sure, I love old school Misfits songs, and the first four Danzig albums, but there is something perfect about Samhain, and particularly November Coming Fire, that makes it stand above anything else that Glenn has done. The first time I ever heard of them was when I was in high school on a trip to an amusement park with some friends when a girl wearing a November Coming Fire shirt gave me shit for wearing a Sex Pistols shirt. Go figure, there was elitism even back in the 80’s! It wasn’t until 1990 that I cold bought November Coming Fire and instantly fell in love with it. That’s right, I bought the album without even listening to it. These were the days before the internet kids so you had to do things like that to discover new bands. I was a huge fan of The Misfits and like the first two Danzig albums that were out at the time so it seemed like a natural step.

The beautiful thing about Samhain is that Danzig incorporated goth, punk and some metal all into one neat package that didn’t sound like anything else. People still try to imitate the sound but nobody has gotten it so spot on in my opinion. I would dare to even call November Coming Fire a deathrock album. After all the songs are about spooky shit, are very morbid sounding and sung by a guy who knows how to fucking sing!. Seriously, listen to the link above in a candlelit room in the middle of the night and don’t tell me that it doesn’t sound in turns otherworldly and beyond macabre.

My favorite song off the album has got to be Halloween II, which is a remake of The Misfits song. Instead of being fast, like the original, it is slow and deliberate, and what makes it spooky as shit is the fact that just like the original it is sung in Latin. When I saw Danzig perform in 1992 they played it as an encore and I almost cried I was so happy! Back then he didn’t like to play old material as much so it was kind of a shock.¬† I don’t dislike ANY of the songs on the album and find some of the placement of them in the order in which they appear to be brilliant. Let The Day Begins, which is a faster paced song, follows To Walk The Night, which is slower in tempo. In some ways November Coming Fire could be seen as a concept album of sorts because all of the album centers about overcoming obstacles. Yeah, that may be stretch, but what the hell?

I remember trying to get goth clubs to play songs off this album back in the day, and it was considered too ‘punk’ even though it sounded more full of dirge than a lot of the stuff they spun. Philistines! November Coming Fire brings back so many fuzzy warm memories! It reminds me specifically of the times that I used to drive around San Jose and Santa Clara with my friend Sheri. I would blast it in my car with the windows rolled down and sing along at the top of my lungs. Awww….memories!

The Reason Why Goths/Punks/Freaks Don’t Greet One Another Any Longer

Gothpunk/freak fashion has gone mainstream folks, get used to it.

Goth/punk/freak fashion has gone mainstream folks, get used to it.

Why don’t weirdos greet each other any longer when they are out and about? I’ve heard that question asked time and time again on the internet. The answer is very simple; the visual differences that used to identify weirdos have gone mainstream, and you can never tell these days if somebody is merely copying the fashion or is truly strange.

I’m going to sound old, I know that and accept it. ‘Back in the day’, if you were a weirdo of any kind, you could be walking down the street, see another weirdo and give them a smile, wave or whatever and be acknowledged in turn. It was really easy back then to identify another of your species because they dressed funny like you and had funny colored or shaved hair. Seriously, it was like a club. I made friends back then with all sorts of freaks, from SHARP skinheads and Mods, to skaters. There were so few people in each distinct subculture that you kind of huddled together for safety. There weren’t the divides between the subcultures like there seem to be now. Also, I knew people from a lot of different areas within the San Francisco Bay Area.

What changed? The elements that made each subculture different have been co-opted by the fashion industry and popular culture over the years. When I first dyed my hair magenta in the very late 1980’s not very many people were doing it. Of course, I knew I wasn’t doing anything new, but it wasn’t exactly popular either. The only people who dyed their hair rainbow colors back then were weirdos. The same goes for dressing in strange outfits. Studs or spikes, that used to be seen just on punk gear and leather jackets, has now been stuck on everything from purses to sweatshirts. It’s to the point where I won’t wear studs or spikes because it’s become sort of crass to do so in my opinion.

This is crass folks.

This is crass…and I’m not talking about the band.

Where I am living now everybody from teen moms to pensioners are dyeing their hair every color of the rainbow. It’s so normal to do that here that I feel kind of strange dying my hair purple these days. Well, I did it before them, so there! There are also people who dress in black with their pre-manufactured spike covered gear walking around who for all intensive purposes are pretty much fashion victims just trying to follow some sort of ‘underground’ trend that they think makes them look unique. Um…no. They are known on the net as nu-goths, which is ridiculous since they don’t listen to Goth music. I mean, if we were going to label everybody who dresses in black a Goth does that mean that nuns and priests are God-Goths?

I personally don’t feel comfortable acknowledging any of the above mentioned types because I know that I will have absolutely nothing in common with any of these people. Yes, I’m making some assumptions, but really it isn’t worth the bother these days.

Why Don’t Films Get Goth Right?

Do you know what’s sad as hell? The fact the screenwriters, and directors, still almost never correctly portray Goths. Most of the time the are aggressive teen girls who have attitude problems and look like they shop at Hot Topic. Here is a list of the worst offenders.

We are the weirdos! No, no you aren't.

We are the weirdos! No, no you aren’t.

A lot of those who claim to have been Goth as teenagers go on and on about how they loved The Craft and how they modeled themselves on the character Nancy. Who is Nancy? An aggressive teen Goth girl who looks like she got her clothes from Hot Topic and has an attitude problem. Absolutely no surprise there, right folks? Of course she is rather evil as well and goes all power-hungry towards the end of the film, which makes her totally insane. Goth chicks all practice Wicca and are secretly insane and are just waiting for the right moment to come before releasing their inner insane bitch. This was made right after the Columbine massacre so the filmmakers perpetuated the angsty Goth model. A friend and I went to see it and during the part where Nancy declares that her and her friends are weirdos my friend shouted really loud ‘I am the weirdo!’. That will always crack me up!

A gaggle of Goths in Satan's School For Girls.

A gaggle of Goths in Satan’s School For Girls.

I am watching the remake of Satan’s School For Girls while writing this and it’s what gave me the idea for this article. Thanks! Well, this little tale has a whole group of Goth girls supposedly practicing Satanism, when in fact they are practicing Wicca. Goths always have to choose between the two, and it’s so difficult isn’t it? There are times I wake up in the morning and can’t decide! All of the Goth chicks in this look like walking advertisements for Hot Topic circa late 1990’s. They all have normal colored hair and really bad accessories. They all just need some hugs and wardrobe advice, from somebody who is actually in the damn subculture!

My life is a big dark room.

My life is a big dark room.

Notice how this film was made right around the same time as the two above? This became a trend! This time it’s super angsty Kim who is psychic! Not only does she smoke cigarettes, or maybe they are cloves, she has an attitude problem. I’m beginning to get all grumpy repeating that, but I didn’t write these films so it’s not my fault. Just like Nancy she goes kind of nuts in the end and realizes that she helped kill some people. Maybe all Goths have repressed memories of this and we are all inherently evil! Kim has a collar on, but she doesn’t look quite as bad as the characters in the other films do. I like how Kin is all hanging about in a cemetery when we first meet her, because Goths love cemeteries, right guys! Okay, yeah a few of us do!

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

The Bride Of Chucky featured a Goth named Damien. Yes, Damien. He’s a typical sleazy Goth guy with really awful tattoos and a bad sense of fashion. Also, he’s wearing those damn metal finger point thingies that just scream poseur to me. If you like them that’s your problem. All Goths must be into kinky sex because they dress in all black and are into Satanism and the occult. Do you see a pattern there? Oh, and once again, this was made during the same period as all of the other films. I think studio execs, and writers, thought that Goths were dark and spooky during that time due to the whole Marilyn Manson is scary shitfest and decided that adding them to horror films would be a good fit. It really wasn’t, it was like putting a square peg into a round hole.

Do you know why all of these films got it wrong, or perpetuated the Goth stereotypes? Because these writers, costumers and directors were all lazy as hell. Seriously, I think most of them just turned on Rikki Lake at the time and pattered their Goth character(s) on teens who proclaimed their love for Marilyn Manson by being annoying twats. A sign of a good film is when the filmmakers put an effort into their final product. I’m not saying that these films aren’t entertaining, because they are, but they just don’t get Goth right.

Andrew Eldritch Hates Goths, Yet They Pay To See Him

This man hates you.

This man hates you.

I don’t understand why people, especially Goths in particular, pay money to see Andrew Eldritch perform live. After all he has let it be known that he doesn’t consider the Sisters Of Mercy to be Goth, and he has said that he actually hates Goths on several occasions. However, all of this hasn’t put off the gullible from giving this self-important twat their hard earned cash.

Yes, I own all of the Sisters Of Mercy albums, but these were all bought over 20 years ago. I like the albums until Vision Thing, which I think is mostly a pile of garbage. Eldrtich had kicked out everybody from the band who made actual good music and that album is the result. So, he hasn’t released an album of all original material in over twenty years, yet he still thinks his shit doesn’t stink. He has this attitude mainly because he knows people will still pay to see him live.

Now, why would people pay this man any money after they know that he specifically doesn’t like them? I think one of the main reasons is because people think they are seeing some sort of living legend perform songs that are club classics. That is like paying a bunch of money to see an Elvis hologram perform with a backing band! Yes, that is actually happening! Eldritch is living off of some warm fuzzy memories that people have of his music, so why should he even bother writing any new tunes? He knows that his concert going audience is filled with a bunch of self hating people, so why even pretend that the band is ever going to move forward into any new territory?

His hatred of the Goth subculture goes all the way back to the 1980’s. I remember around 1990 knowing somebody who met him and Eldritch told him off because he was dressed Goth. Seriously, Eldritch is that much of a dick. From then on I promised myself to never pay money to see him. I think it’s hypocritical to pay to see a man perform who hates you, then complain when other people say they hate you for being Goth. Really, what’s the difference between him hating you and somebody else? Is it okay for him to hate you because he’s some sort of ‘living legend’? Screw that and get some self respect. Stop giving him your hard earned cash because you deserve better.

Ghetto Gothic Is Neither Gothic Or Original, So Get Over It.

This woman is stealing the ghetto gothic look! Oh noes!

This woman is stealing the ghetto gothic look! Oh noes!

Just this morning I read this stupid article on Vice about how black subcultures, particularly Ghetto Gothic, are being appropriated from the people who created it. Ghetto Gothic is spelled an entirely different way than the form I’m using here, however the other version hurts my eyes so I’m being a bit proper about things.

Anyway! A DJ in New York who goes by the name of Venus X claims to have started the Ghetto Gothic subculture and went on a rant a few months ago about how Rhianna was stealing the look she invented without giving her any credit. A look that some random DJ invented? What? Wait a second, our friend didn’t invent dressing in black, in fact she copied another subculture and spawned some hybrid creature that shouldn’t exist. Venus X claims that Ghetto Gothic is all about art and isn’t about how expensive the clothes are. Yeah, sure, and I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell to you! Hip hop and rap have only been about just the image for a very long time. Venus X actually threatened to close her club night after all of this happened because she was so angry about it. Maybe she is Goth after all, because I’ve seen TONS of Goth DJ’s do this over the years. Drama llamas.

It’s obvious that this Venus X chick thinks that the Goth subculture is only about dressing in black, that dressing in black automatically makes you dark and mysterious. Venus X comes across as dark and mysterious as an egg salad sandwich. I find it the height of comedy that somebody complains about a celebrity stealing ‘their’ look when they themselves stole the look from somebody else. What next, is she going to say that nuns are stealing her look? People have been dressing in black for ages, besides those who are of the Gothic persuasion, so who the heck is she to get all up in arms about all this?

So, what it comes down to is a mostly white subculture being borrowed by a mostly black subculture, then that black subculture getting mad at a black woman for stealing the look. I couldn’t make up this teenage drama even if I tried! If a person is only dressing in black, and doesn’t listen to Goth subculture based music then I don’t consider them to be a Goth. End of story.

Why The Sex Pistols Deserve More Respect

I love these guys!

I love these guys!

The husband and I rewatched the great Sex Pistols documentary The Filth And The Fury and it reminded me what a great band they were, and how the teenagers of today don’t respect them enough.

What I am always seeing online are kids who compare The Sex Pistols to a boy band because of Malcom McClaren putting the band together. The main HUGE difference between boy bands and the Pistols is the fact that they wrote all of their own music. Usually it was John Lydon writing the lyrics while the rest of the band played something they had just made up. When have boy bands played their own instruments or written all of their own music? Yes, I just told you to sit the hell down! These same kids will go on and on about how much they love The Clash, which by the way was directly formed in order to compete with the Pistols. The Clash were a huge band and played stadiums. In fact I remember a totally normal classmate in junior high who bragged going to one such event. Now, who were the sellouts?

Not only did they influence a ton of bands, everyone from The Damned to Siouxsie And The Banshees, they also paved the way for people to feel comfortable being a freak in a society that they didn’t want to be a part of. Up until that time there wasn’t a musical movement that told people that it was okay to be different, that you didn’t have to follow what everybody else did because they told you to. Yes, there was the counterculture of the 1960’s but that was all about peace, loving everybody else and growing you hair long. Punk, originally, was about expressing yourself, no matter how you chose to do it. Later it did become a uniform, one in which I think it’s crass to adopt these days.

The danger element in what they did should not be overlooked. What band signed band today would have the balls to play a song called God Save The Queen? Go ahead….I’ll give you a moment. None. They created songs that went against the status quo thinking of the time and this pissed a whole lot of people off. Malcom McClaren claimed that he orchestrated all of this, which is a huge lie. When it comes down to it he didn’t know what the hell he was doing the vast majority of the time. It’s no surprise that he stole the band’s money, but he got frightened when he realized just how pissed off people were. John Lydon, among others, were physically attacked while walking down the street simply because of who he was. In fact, it was damned dangerous to be different back then. I would like to argue that this aspect has still not gone totally away, with the murder of Sophie Lancaster by a group of assholes a few years ago.

No surprise, I’m a huge fan of The Sex Pistols and saw them live on their 25th anniversary tour in the US. Lydon went on about how bands like Green Day aren’t punk and never will be punk. Agreed! I started listening to them in 86 and they were my gateway band into not only punk, but into Goth. Without punk there would be no Goth subculture, and don’t you forget it!

The Cult Of Alternative Modeling Bothers Me

What I like to call Gothic Booty magazine.

What I like to call Gothic Booty Magazine.

What is it these days with every other goth/punk/deathrock chick wanting to become an alternative model? WHY? Is it because they simply want some attention? If that’s the case they should get a puppy, because I hear they like people. Is it because they think their look is so different that their presence will launch a thousand ships? Everything ‘different’ these days had been done before. Whatever the reason it really annoys the hell out of me.

Alternative models may have brightly colored hair and tattoos but at the end of the day they are more than likely white and skinny. Let’s not sugarcoat this mess, because that is the way it is. What is the difference between that and the so called normal modelling world? Nothing. Slap on some hair dye, get one of those nautical star tattoos and BAM you’re suddenly an alternative model. If alternative modelling is all about being different then where are the people of different ethnic backgrounds and sizes? I’m sure that there are alternative models who fit into those two descriptions but they are totally outnumbered by people who are considered conventionally attractive. Even if they have piercings or tattoos it doesn’t matter, because publications and websites will still choose mainly white models over others.

Some of the big fallout from this is that there is a whole group of people out there who now set out to fetish all women who look alternative. This may not seem like a big issue but let me explain. Instead of now being just considered freaks there are a lot of women, such as myself, that are looked upon as freaks that others would now like to fuck. All of a sudden it’s alright for these jerks to say online, and in real life, that they would a piece of Goth/punk/deathrock ass. Suicide Girls, among others, have perpetuated the notion that all alternative women are basically sluts to be looked down upon. For some reason dressing strangely is now equated with being sleazy, which it shouldn’t be.

What most disturbs me about all of this is seeing girls online who get tattoos and piercing just so that they can fit into a mold and become an alternative model. Changing your appearance for anybody else but yourself is a bad idea, very bad. Before the internet came into being I remember people claiming they were Goth models, but all that meant in the 80’s was that your friend took photos of you in a cemetery. I still find that deeply funny and kind of endearing, however I never knew anybody back then who drastically changed their look just to become one. One reason being was that there wasn’t a real market for it. With the advent of the internet everybody and their mother signed up to alternative modeling sites in hope of being discovered. Discovered for what? I have no idea! The best they are going to do is being on the cover of a magazine that nobody takes seriously anyway, so why even bother?

Am I writing this just because I’m jealous? Hell no, I was a freak before a lot of these kids were born and I will be one way after they take out their piercings and go back to their natural hair color.

No, You Can’t Just Magically Become Goth

Oh hell no.

Oh hell no.

I quite honestly don’t care if I come across as an elitist bitch by writing this post. This is a subject that has always bothered me and one in which probably wouldn’t be around without the help of two things: Marilyn Manson and the internet.

Are you old enough to remember when Marilyn Manson reared his ugly head? I sure am, and let me tell you it was a truly awful thing to behold. The man, and his music, aren’t Goth but by golly did his little teenage fans think they were! Now, why was this? It was because the mainstream press labeled him Goth so his followers thought that they were Goth by association. Of course they weren’t, they were just idiots trying to piss off their parents and shock people. They would go on daytime talk shows, especially Jenny Jones and Rikki Lake, and brag about how Goth they were and how much they loved Marilyn Manson. You can’t make this shit up.

These misinformed and annoying kids thought that they could just automatically become Goth by going to Hot Topic and buying some overpriced and cheap looking outfits. Their attitude was the same as before they were Goth, they were just brats playing at being spooky. Being spooky, to them, meant being rude to others and acting like a twat. What they failed to understand is the being Goth is about much more than dressing in black and wearing bad make-up, rather it’s about being drawn to things that have a darker feel. Also, it’s quite heavily about the music, which these teens had no idea about.

I have a story that relates to all of this. One time I was walking around a toy store wearing a Christian Death shirt and it was around 1997. A teen comes up to me and asks me if Christian Death are like Marilyn Manson. I tell him no then move on. He then proceeds to keep following me about the store going on and on about Marilyn Manson. I think I only escaped because I went to the checkout to buy something.

The internet has done nothing to help all of this. Yes, there is some really good information out there concerning the subculture, but it is just as filled with misinformed people spouting off what they think Goth really is about. This is usually done by teens who think they know it all when in fact they, of course, don’t. Giving people advice on how to dress Goth, and not talking about the music aspect or anything else, does not help things at all. There are tons of kids out there who still think that being Goth is all about the image, and that in order to be Goth they have to fit into a neat little box that has already been thought out for them.

When a teen enters the modern Goth subculture they don’t have to be intelligent. They can look up the ‘subtypes’ of Goth and pick out which one they want to be. They feel like they have to stay in their little box and not stray out of it or they won’t be considered a romantic, cyber, Victorian, etc…Goth. It’s ridiculous! Gone is all creativity and being your own person. They don’t develop their own style or personality, instead they become a walking stereotype, which is just plain stupid. Also, try holding an intelligent conversation with these empty vessels. You can’t, it’s impossible!

If you don’t like Goth music or things with a darker edge then don’t call yourself Goth or ‘become’ Goth. Just be yourself instead of dressing in a costume.

I Want To Be A Scary Old Woman

Yes, I want to be THAT woman!

Yes, I want to be THAT woman!

The other night the husband and I watched the horror film Dolls. Now, I had never watched the film before. So, there I was laughing my ass off at the scenes of dolls murdering people with little knives when I was entranced by the character of Hilary Hartwicke, an old woman with a penchant for dolls. For a while I couldn’t figure out why I was attracted to a character dressed like a Edwardian headmistress and then it finally occurred to me; I want to be a crazy old woman who lives in an old Victorian house.

I think it would be awesome being a scary old woman living in a crumbling Victorian. Here are the fun things I could do!

-Keep toys that children throw into my yard.
-Own as many cats as I damn well please!
-Sit out on my poach in a rocking chair and just look into space with a menacing look upon my face.
-Bring spider shaped cookies to my new neighbors, making sure to blacken my teeth to up the scare affect.
-Start a chainsaw in the middle of the night in my basement.
-Dig a hole in my backyard, also in the middle of the night.

What’s cool about being a scary old woman is that you will be considered eccentric by many and you can get away with almost anything. For instance, when you are out grocery shopping you can give children being pushed around in carts by their mothers evil looks and make them cry. Fun times! The best time of year would be Halloween! My scary house would be the one in town that kids would dare their friends to go up to. My front door would automatically be a gateway into the evil unknown! Neat!

Fashion is important if you’re a scary old woman, so I could dress like Miss Havisham from Great Expectations and practice my walk so that it looks like I’m gliding over the pavement. Once in a while I would even dress in garish colors just to up my scary level a bit. Most of my hair is naturally white already, so all I would have to do is not dye my hair for a while and I have instant scary old lady hair!

Yep, she's dead!

Yep, she’s dead!

Decorating is important so I would put Victorian momento mori photos all over my walls. Nothing says scary old woman more than photos of dead people! The furniture would be heavy and dark and there would be various tacky and frightening knickknacks covering all surfaces. The outside of the house, would of course, be unkempt. I wouldn’t paint the house, instead I would allow the natural patina of the old wood to shine through. The grass outside would never be mowed and bushes and trees would be allowed to go wild.

I would make a great scary old woman, wouldn’t I?