Why Don’t Films Get Goth Right?

Do you know what’s sad as hell? The fact the screenwriters, and directors, still almost never correctly portray Goths. Most of the time the are aggressive teen girls who have attitude problems and look like they shop at Hot Topic. Here is a list of the worst offenders.

We are the weirdos! No, no you aren't.

We are the weirdos! No, no you aren’t.

A lot of those who claim to have been Goth as teenagers go on and on about how they loved The Craft and how they modeled themselves on the character Nancy. Who is Nancy? An aggressive teen Goth girl who looks like she got her clothes from Hot Topic and has an attitude problem. Absolutely no surprise there, right folks? Of course she is rather evil as well and goes all power-hungry towards the end of the film, which makes her totally insane. Goth chicks all practice Wicca and are secretly insane and are just waiting for the right moment to come before releasing their inner insane bitch. This was made right after the Columbine massacre so the filmmakers perpetuated the angsty Goth model. A friend and I went to see it and during the part where Nancy declares that her and her friends are weirdos my friend shouted really loud ‘I am the weirdo!’. That will always crack me up!

A gaggle of Goths in Satan's School For Girls.

A gaggle of Goths in Satan’s School For Girls.

I am watching the remake of Satan’s School For Girls while writing this and it’s what gave me the idea for this article. Thanks! Well, this little tale has a whole group of Goth girls supposedly practicing Satanism, when in fact they are practicing Wicca. Goths always have to choose between the two, and it’s so difficult isn’t it? There are times I wake up in the morning and can’t decide! All of the Goth chicks in this look like walking advertisements for Hot Topic circa late 1990’s. They all have normal colored hair and really bad accessories. They all just need some hugs and wardrobe advice, from somebody who is actually in the damn subculture!

My life is a big dark room.

My life is a big dark room.

Notice how this film was made right around the same time as the two above? This became a trend! This time it’s super angsty Kim who is psychic! Not only does she smoke cigarettes, or maybe they are cloves, she has an attitude problem. I’m beginning to get all grumpy repeating that, but I didn’t write these films so it’s not my fault. Just like Nancy she goes kind of nuts in the end and realizes that she helped kill some people. Maybe all Goths have repressed memories of this and we are all inherently evil! Kim has a collar on, but she doesn’t look quite as bad as the characters in the other films do. I like how Kin is all hanging about in a cemetery when we first meet her, because Goths love cemeteries, right guys! Okay, yeah a few of us do!

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

The Bride Of Chucky featured a Goth named Damien. Yes, Damien. He’s a typical sleazy Goth guy with really awful tattoos and a bad sense of fashion. Also, he’s wearing those damn metal finger point thingies that just scream poseur to me. If you like them that’s your problem. All Goths must be into kinky sex because they dress in all black and are into Satanism and the occult. Do you see a pattern there? Oh, and once again, this was made during the same period as all of the other films. I think studio execs, and writers, thought that Goths were dark and spooky during that time due to the whole Marilyn Manson is scary shitfest and decided that adding them to horror films would be a good fit. It really wasn’t, it was like putting a square peg into a round hole.

Do you know why all of these films got it wrong, or perpetuated the Goth stereotypes? Because these writers, costumers and directors were all lazy as hell. Seriously, I think most of them just turned on Rikki Lake at the time and pattered their Goth character(s) on teens who proclaimed their love for Marilyn Manson by being annoying twats. A sign of a good film is when the filmmakers put an effort into their final product. I’m not saying that these films aren’t entertaining, because they are, but they just don’t get Goth right.

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