Bill Paxton’s Best Roles As A Total Dick

This man knows how to play a dick.

This man knows how to play a dick.

Last night the husband and I watched a newish film called The Colony that stars Bill Paxton, and in it his character is pretty much a total dick. That got me thinking about how well Paxton plays total dicks. Seriously, this man is good at playing those who have major attitude problems. No two dicks are exactly the same as shown by this list.

As Chad in Weird Science

As Chad in Weird Science

Chad is a dick of the older brother military type that wants you to obey everything he says or he’ll tell mom and dad. The guy is in fact such a big dick that he is turned, literally, into a pile of shit. The guy deserves it and should lighten up a bit. If he didn’t learn after being turned into shit then he’s doomed.

Game over, man! Game over!

Game over, man! Game over!

Private Hudson is in the Colonial Marines, in the film Aliens, and has an arrogant dick attitude to go along with it. He tells dumb jokes, thinks his shit doesn’t stink and pretends he’s scared of nothing. Underneath that tough exterior is a little boy who wants to run away when the xenomorphs come running. Game over indeed!

He should have given Arnie his clothes!

He should have given Arnie his clothes!

This could possibly his shortest dick role. He played a punk, in a group of three, who refused to give the Terminator his clothes when asked to by said cyborg. Instead of being a totally drunk dick with an attitude problem he should have just given up his clothes. I mean, really!

Am I a dick? I must ponder this thought for a while.

Am I a dick? I must ponder this thought for a while.

As I said earlier the husband and I just watched a film called The Colony. Paxton plays an ex-military dick named Mason who shoots people in the head when he isn’t supposed to and doesn’t listen to the wisdom of others until it is too late. Mason’s ego got in the way of common sense!

Tell me I sparkle again...I dare you!

Tell me I sparkle again…I dare you!

Severen is a homicidal vampire dick in the film Near Dark who is totally devoid of any shred of humanity. Seriously, this guy is a dick and will forever be a dick! Get on his wrong side and he will kill you in a very nasty way and then drain you dry.

Playing a dick who wears a hat.

Playing a dick who wears a hat.

In Predator 2 he plays Lambert, who is a dick show-off cop who transfers to LA to try to prove himself. He’s a sexist dick but somehow manages to make a coworker pregnant. He must have looked at her funny!

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